Free Therapy

In my late teens/early 20's I read a lot of psychology books in an attempt to better understand myself, the world and my place in it. This was just before such books exploded into mass-market fashionability, but even then it struck me that I'd wade through a whole tome of what seemed like new agey, slightly esoteric emotional cotton wool (with a trowel layer of schmaltz if American), often endorsing a questionable level of self-indulgence, and over-esteem to reach the 50p gem in the middle - the whole point of the book. Not v. good value for £7.99 I used to think. So to save my 'fellow travellers' on the same journey the same money and trouble of wading through too much waffle, particularly now there's SO much of it to confuse the already confused even further, I recently decided to condense the entire genre as I see it into one one-stop, one-size-fits-all therapy poem. World, I present to you;

Sort Your Life Out - A distillation of the Literary Genre

Forget, Freud, Laing, Gestalt and Jung
Don't be colour-therapied or shuied by Feng
Declare yourself a limited company
Appoint yourself MD
Audit your good points, phase out your bad
Break out of the pattern repeats that are making you sad
Out-place the demons and hangers-on holding you back
Undermining your confidence, de-railing you off-track
Start firing any asset strippers masquerading as friends
Who are only - bottom line - interested in their own ends.
Tell any voices in your head to go take a running jump
You're through with listening to their crap, no matter how drunk
You're through with the shame, blame and tame game
Quick draw that strategy to prevent more of the same.
Stop kidding yourself you have no personal power
Or finding etcetera excuses to miss your own glorious hour
Delegate to the four winds the things you cannot change
There's more than enough to trouble-shoot within your range
Cease being scared of your own reflection
It's time to clean up your act for a 'you' resurrection
All that you are is all that you have, but you have a lot more than you think
And I won't hear you're worthless when you haven't scratched the surface
When you're only using 10% of your considerable brain
Overlooking a potential 90% of net personal gain
Crap doesn't change ownership just 'cos others give you their shit
Return straight back to sender and try not to start it.
Life will beat you up enough without you joining in
You are what you are. I am what I am.
But let's rule out the possibilities before we self-damn
(Let's polish what we can.)
And did I mention love? If you're not worth it to yourself
Don't be surprised you're broadcasting 'loser' to everybody else.
So no more personal consultants who need therapy themselves
No more recreational escapism, time to face that wolf called self.
Look into the mirror. How bad can you be? How free?
Stop being a passenger in your own life, shift into the driving seat and see.

Next week we'll discuss personal profit sharing…

© LS King 2007