Tuesday, 26 August 2008

2012 British Olympics Update

Further to yesterday's posting, I am reliably informed that work has now begun on arguing about the new Olympic venues - The Bird's Mess and The Pear-Shaped Cube.

Meanwhile the kebab vans have been hired, the portaloos booked and the marquees requisitioned for the weekend before the start when the Committee suddenly realise they are not going to finish in time and have spent £9bn on giving themselves eight years of Olympian-sized performance bonuses to keep up with their city banker friends.

However they have purchased the lane dividers for divvying up the Thames for the swimming events, not forgetting to leave a modest shipping lane down the middle, and organised handy special Lodgings for the human dolphin at the nearby London Aquarium.

The merchandise is on order (from the US, to make sure it arrives in time!), so as you can see nothing has been left to chance and the Royal Family trapeze act to open is also coming on a treat!

As Steve over at Bloggertropolis has just reminded me, we even have our very own asset (or should that be 'ass'?) in the form of Sir Les Patterson-style cultural attache - Boris Johnson. Coupled with late Brit kiddie serial killer Myra Hindley as a mascot, what could go wrong?

Let's remind ourselves of that inspirational winning logo once more...

6 comments:

nearside said...

That logo is terrible. Speaking as someone who works with designers every day, they'd be ashamed to produce something like that. Oh well. Hopefully the games will go well and the UK won't let the side down in 2012.

KAZ said...

I visited London long ago when the olympic bid was on. I was totally impressed to see that the seats on the tube had Olympic 2012 actually woven into the upholstery.

But after we won our bid it all went a bit quiet.
Ken ..... can you hear me??

teeni said...

It should be very interesting. I wonder if they have to up the ante with the level of scandals from this year too? LOL.

Steve said...

Three cheers for Britain... hip hip hip? Not very.

The Poet Laura-eate said...

Nearside, you are wasted Stateside! Fish4Jobs.com might be just the ticket.

Blimey Kaz, well anyone on the tube, that's ALL they'd be seeing of the Olympics so perhaps that's why they decided to start there first! Ken can't help you now. Rumour has it he never could actually.

Teeni, it's extraordinary how many scandals all these little bits of incompetance mount up to. I think they must all be on drugs - and not just the athletes!

Steve, bugger me if I've also forgotten the words to our National Anthem. Something about wishing we were in Jerusalem wasn't it?

nearside said...

Laura, I appreciate the sentiment about being needed back home :) I often tend to agree, but I suspect there's some kind of secret arrangement where Northern Ireland's success depends upon my being elsewhere. At least, it certainly seems coincidental that everything got better once I left!