Tuesday, 23 June 2009

Advantages of the Recession

1. We all become greener-by-default as we economise to save money. And grounded too, now we can't afford flights!
2. The renaissance of the Dunkirk Spirit as adversity brings out the best in everyone and they lend each other cups of sugar and sing 'Knees Up Mother Brown' in the street round the old Joanna.
3. The resurgence of more spiritual values as we realise materialism isn't everything (now that we can't afford it)

Perhaps you can think of a few more while I cheer myself by fantasising about what manner of pad I'd like when I'm wealthy enough. Yes, I have decided to allow my name to be put forward for the directorship of a failing bank. I reckon for £609m I can offer real VfM by throwing in a free Poet-in-Residence role too. And funnily enough I did used to work for Royal Bank of Scotland many moons ago. For £3.69 an hour. Though to be fair we were issued with free teabags and a bright blue and green tartan uniform which glowed in the dark. I wonder if they will make their new appointee wear one. I do hope so.


Geoff said...

I thought the link to the old Joanna was to be the saintly Ms Lumley.

Knees up muvver brahn!

garfer said...

I think you should write an ode in praise of the lovely Fred Goodwin.

The poor dear is having to scrape by on a £350K pension (aged 50) and needs cheering up.

Steve said...

We're digging for victory in our garden right now. Spuds, broad beans, onions, garlic and peas... I'll be dispensing food parcels to you all come harvest time...

Donn said...

Recession schmession!

A man's home IS his castle and by Gawd once a king always a king, but once a knight..is enough.

Why yes I am drinking in the middle of the afternoon..(hic)
Oh Dear.. is it that obvious?

Once you're running the bank give yourself a huge bonus for being so awesome!

Wisewebwoman said...

No better woman for the job, I'd say, and poetry thrown in pro bono (or not).
Even a modest pay packet should afford many tartan kilties and tax payer funded expenses for the country place.
Plus a staggering bonus if job sufficiently underperformed.
Go for it.

Reluctant Blogger said...

Well, I was thinking we'd all get thinner cos we couldn't afford to eat or drink but actually the type of food that people can afford is the stuff that makes us fat. So that doesn't work.

But it is true that a lot more people starting walking to school last summer when petrol prices went through the roof and then went back to their cars when the price fell.

I often dream of a big house and servants. I'd love one with turrets and lots of staircases.

KAZ said...

It's OK young Geoff - you can have a knees up round me any day.
(Sighs) You cockneys eh?

The Sagittarian said...

Did you know you can stop bread from drying out by leaving it in a bucket of water! There y'go, some recession advice from the Antipodes. :-)

The Poet Laura-eate said...

Geoff, what a good idea!

Garfer, my heart goes out to poor much-maligned Fred Goodwin. We don't deserve him!

Steve - how can I thank you? Good to hear the old Dunkirk spirit is alive and well in Leamers.

Donn. Awesome bonus - what a capital idea!

WWW - what would I do without your wise counsel?

RB I'd have to fight you for a pile with lots of turrets and windy staircases. Balconies and window's walks would also be a must! And did I mention my garret?

Kaz - can I come to your gaff for the knees up too?

Sagittarian. Well if that don't keep the old home fires burning, I don't know what will!

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