Saturday, 13 June 2009
Quick, Have A Baby While Stocks Last!
Every time I switch on the TV or open a newspaper lately, it seems that some patronising medical 'expert' (usually male) is still harping on about how women under 35 should hurry up and have children.
Why does this smack of some subversive government 'programme' to re-stock the nation's cannon fodder? Are they planning another war in 19 years or so? And excuse me, but isn't this supposed to be an overcrowded planet which can scarcely sustain the population it already has? What's with all this drive for more childbearing? And if there is some population shortfall, aren't our under-age teens lying back and thinking of England enough to fill it?
I thank my lucky stars to have been free of hormonal (and particularly) patronising expert bullying as to what I should do with my body, when, and to have realised that it is perfectly possible to live a happy and fulfilling life minus the pitter patter of tiny Kickers. I mean make no mistake, I adore any child over the age of two who doesn't bear an uncanny resemblence to the Devil's spawn (and over on More4 last night Supernanny was contending with a 3 year old who thought that spitting in his mother's face and laughing was hilarious. Or perhaps he was just conforming to the thuggish number 2 haircut and matching baby-thug outfit she had inflicted on him), but it is sure is nice to hand them back at the end of the afternoon or evening.
Anyway if I'm meant to have one, doubtless someone will leave me one in a carrier bag on the doorstep and then I'll know it's meant to be.
Meanwhile above are some paper cut-out-and-keep children. Polite, planet-friendly, no school or University fees, a credit to you, don't answer back, keep their rooms tidy - who could ask for more?