Showing posts with label christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label christmas. Show all posts

Monday, 23 December 2013

What's In Your Christmas Dinner...?

Gluttony has long been an accepted, and eagerly encouraged, breaking of one of the seven commandments during the Christmas season. However I must confess I find the rise of the multi-bird roast somewhat obscene.

To kill four (or even more) birds rather than one to sate one's gluttony and then meld them together as some kind of Frankenbird seems a truly revolting idea, not least when most of us are so opposed to genetically modified 'frankenfoods', which are all about defying nature. In addition it involves a level of meat processing and time of raw meat hanging about at room temperature to create which is surely not to be advised.

This reminds me of the recent revelation that cheap poultry from the more downmarket supermarkets mostly originates from Brazil where it is frozen, shipped over to Britain and then pumped full of chemicals and water to give it the same volume and appearance as British-reared meat, subject to higher production standards and animal welfare legislation. It is then re-frozen, something British people are warned not to do with poultry for fear of Salmonella and other bugs. Finally it is stamped with a 'Produced in Britain' sticker to (legally) hoodwink the public as to its country of origin when actually Britain is just the country it has been processed in. This low-grade meat may score far lower marks on the taste test than meat sold in the high end supermarkets but if the consumers of the low-end supermarkets can't afford the good stuff, presumably they remain none the wiser.

Poor quality meat, aside from being bad for animal welfare, has also been shown to be bad for human health, containing more chemicals and a higher level of adrenalin and animal diseases from animals which have been cheaply fed and poorly treated in highly stressful and cramped conditions..

On the subject of the horse meat scandal earlier this year, I recently met a geneticist who told me that a deliberate decision had been made by our government not to sanction testing for any other animal genes as it was not felt that the British public could withstand any further revelations about what might be in their processed meat such as burgers.
'Dog'? I suggested. 'Cat...?'


'My lips are sealed' she replied. 'But you won't catch me eating anything I haven't obtained from my local farm shop.'

But since when did the idea of daily meat consumption become normal anyway? Within living memory for most families it would be a Sunday roast and then leftovers in the shape of sandwiches or curries for the rest of the week, with fish and chips on a Friday. Meat was a luxury item and people accepted that it was expensive and that it was supposed to be expensive as it was expensive to rear animals. Some even raised their own chickens and pigs in the back garden.

Surely it is better to eat less meat, but of a higher quality and a simple, traceable, organic, free-range provenance. Not just better for animals and consumers on every level, but for long-suffering
British farmers too.

Wednesday, 24 December 2008

A Christmas Poem



The Wrong Chestnuts

Raffling colleagues off in the Christmas slave auction again
Though on alternate years musical chairs pick office affairs
And spin the bottle makes things go with a swing
When bottoms up are done full-colour photocopying

And lest we not forget those less fortunate than we
Barclays, Lloyds, Nat West, Abbey…
Our borrowing can save a bank this year
Our spending can save a High Street's cheer

'Tis the season to be jolly, joyful and redundant
Pretence of plenty and goodwill to all men in abundance
Forget the Messiah
Let's hear it for Mariah
All she wants for Christmas is yoooooou

The sprouts are alive to The Sound of Music
Another Freesia bath set - you'll never use it.
A Christmas Carol Vorderman makes her speech to the nation
She's got Queenie's job - it's an abomination!
It's a scream fest on Emmerdale, Corrie, EastEnders
Then a live murder in Pop Goes The X Factor
Call post-pudding to vote for your favourite killer.

Tox up and max out - pay nothing 'til the January after
Kids ignore ruinous presents to play with the boxes and paper
Take Two Ronnies with food three times a day
Warning: May Cause Drowsiness
Then it's The Great Escape but Batteries are Not Included
Groundhog Christmas, National Lampoon and Scrooged

Shop zero day comes but once a year
We raise a glass with shop-bought cheer
To Prince Albert, who invented presents and trees
And that bloke who inspired the nativity

We might know Santa's an advert for Coca Cola
Who take a secret cut from each mall Grotto turnover
But somehow the Christmas magic survives
Unlike 20.5 revellers per region who won't emerge alive

© Laura King 2008



For all the cynicism in the above poem, the only Christmas song that can reduce me to tears in the middle of Tesco, cheesy I know - but she gives it her all!