Tuesday, 20 May 2008

A Cornucopia of Cat


Conflict calming, drama diffusing, politic purging
Sorrow soaking, tenderness transfixing
Pass the pussy please,
It’s my turn now
To tell the cat what I cannot tell my mother
Who's corrected me oft enough she's 'not the cat's mother'.
It makes me smile to recall how the cat played conduit
Confessor, counsellor, confidante
Each member of the family confiding all
Seeking complicit approval for controversial schemes
Unsolved ice cream thefts and reams of dreams.
Conferring on fur
The affections we found so awkward on flesh
Passed down our generation through lap cat osmosis
The unconditional purring furball's
Silence bought for a tin of tuna.
And so useful a parental screen for those embarrassing TV moments
'Aw, look what Sooty's doing!' when simulated sex scenes threatened
Our best-ever soft toy, obligingly akimbo, cute-ing it to the max.
He lapped up our toxic tensions like
They were the finest caviar.
Never a sick moment.
Knitted the family dynamic with a purr for a purl
And his head always smelled nice
(yawn exquisitely foul).
A chat with le chat
Was better than therapy
The shame my sister won 'Sooty', over my more dignified 'Ponsonby'

© LS King 2008

*VIP = 'Very Important Puss'. Naturally.

*'Sooty' is here modelled by my parents' cat 'Tiggy' (not v. sooty as you can see). I'll have to hurry up and master photoshop. Or spraypaint him.


Anonymous said...

Aww yeah so true. The number of times my mother and I have spoken "through" the cat when things have seemed embarrassing or tricky.

Tiggy is gorgeous. I can see you have not changed though - you don't pull wings off anymore, it's spraypainting these days???

I miss my cat.

KAZ said...

'Lap cat osmosis' - great phrase.
And your beautiful cat looks just like my (late and much loved)Eric

moi said...

What a boooooootiful kitty cat. Smushy paws, too. Love it. Tell Moi, does he know you have honored him thus or is he, like all cats, so very "Meh" about the whole thing?

Wisewebwoman said...

I've loved one cat in my life, a canine feline by the name of Walter. He was tough. His territory was an entire city block and his best friends were dogs. He would come for walks at night with the dogs and me. He was large, 28 lbs, and very black and would beat me up if I delayed his meals.
I loved him dearly and miss him to this day.

Steve said...

Cat porn. I just love it. Loved the line "Silence bought for a tin of tuna." Weirdly that works on our 6 year old boy.

lucyfishwife said...

Our cats equate to a spoilt bratty 5-yr-old and a grumpy Goth teenager. I do love dogs, but I'd always have cats as pets. There's nothing to beat the feeling of small predators wandering around your house.

The Sagittarian said...

Why do all cats look at you like they know something we don't? Honestly, they are such a beautiful THING and have most of us wrapped round their little paws. How does that happen? I wanna come back as a pampered moggy!!

Brother Tobias said...

This is so good, and full of little nuggets and neat conceits. I like 'conferring with fur', and the concept of cat osmosis. Dogs do all this too, only it is their feet which smell best.

The Poet Laura-eate said...

I only joke about cruelty to animals (and children) RB! Shall you be acquiring another moggy or have you and your mother learned to speak directly now?

Cheers Kaz!

Tiggy spends most of his life asleep Moi. In fact she is the laziest cat I have ever met - I doubt she has even learned to blog!

Walter sounds a cat-and-a-half wisewebwoman - no wonder he is so difficult to replace!

My previous 'kitty porn' posting was 'Duck Filled Cattypuss' Steve, as you may recall . Re the tin of tuna, perhaps your six year old was a moggy in his previous incarnation!

What I love about cats LucyFishWife is the way they have minds of their own, although they are almost as easy to buy with food as dogs! I do love dogs as well though.

Sagittarian, I used to drive my mother mad by constantly repeating at the age of about 6 'If Sooty were a toy, you'd have to pay thousands of pounds for one of these!' I think Tiny Tears dolls had just come out and I was not impressed by how they merely shed tears & wet their nappies!

Thank you Brother Tobias - I had the cat piccies for a while and was waiting to write the *right* piece to go with them - I try to do that with my postings, although spontaneity occasionally gets a say!