Cheryl The Peril
Unsolicited teddy bears and texts
Of her Parish Priests' unrequited love
She cannot get enough.
My former colleague from the bank
Stares out from the national newspaper
With all the dignity she can muster
For a Priest harasser.
Bound over to keep the peace
Her amorous advances must now cease
(or he'll call the Police).
What happened to pastoral care?
Was he really so scared of a teddy bear?
Or was watching him potter shirtless in his kitchen
The situation his diocese hadn't sufficiently trained him in
From her widowed mother's bedroom across the road?
No mercy for this lovelorn miss, Christian love be blowed,
For he loves Jesus, Cheryl, and you're a mad woman
To think you could compete has only left you a sad woman.
Isn't it time your love life stopped making the national papers?
Like that time you tried to sue the bank over your disastrous liason with a manager?
I remember, even when I worked there,
You'd just had six months off for depression from another doomed affair.
You were the Receptionist and had to smile your 'trust me' bank face all day long
And Lizzie covered for you when you sobbed in the staff room.
© LS King 2008