An appeal to all well-heeled would-be Patrons of the Arts at that youthfully-challenged stage of life who may be starting to worry about their posterity.
Fallen out with those greedy, ungrateful middle-aged kids?
Not too keen on cats?
Fed up with that Donkey at the Sanctuary that never writes back?
Want to be more than a park bench when you depart this vale of tears?
Sponsor the Poet Laura-eate to live a life of wild poetic abandon (ie give up the day job) and she will use some of that time to visit and entertain you at least once a week and be the dream daughter you always wished you'd had and can proudly boast about to all your friends.
Should you one day decide to leave her all your money, she will then;
A. Pen your biography - beautifully. In iambic pentameters, if you wish.
B. Erect public fountains, gazebos or statuary in your memory - all three if finances permit!
C. Ensure your castle or manor house is not bulldozed in favour of a new Supermarket, bypass, airport or housing estate.
D. Look after your dog for the rest of its life & water your plants.
E. Cherish your garret or turret tower as her own.
F. Take your Library books back.
Naturally owing to limited supply of Poet Laura-eates, this offer must be made on a strictly first come, first served, basis!
I'll even throw in a free Easter egg for the duration of the Easter hols!