Monday, 23 June 2008

My Drugs Hell

Perhaps it was a strict childhood deprived of sweets that had me exploring my parents' medicine cabinet in search of succour and happening upon the delights of New Era Biochemical Tissue Salts No. 4 at about the age of five.

Once I started guzzling them I couldn't stop and before I knew it the contents of three bottles of them had been crunched into delicious melted powder upon my tongue and I was avidly ransacking the bathroom for more when my parents discovered me.

My next memory is of being held down on the floor while they poured salt water down my throat to make me sick.

Whilst I admit I hadn't quite got the hang of the (less is more) principle of homeopathy at that age, my taste for these little tablets has remained undimmed and to this day I don't trust myself to have a bottle of them in the house.

In fact even writing this is rather dangerous as it makes me want to rush out to my 'dealers' at Holland and Barrett to procure a bottle (or three)!

The funny thing is they don't actually taste of a great deal, but to me the texture and taste is utterly irresistible.

Nor am I aware of any sort of high resulting, let alone any of my ailments being cured. Just an insane compulsion to keep eating them.

Worse still if it's true you can now buy a fix of coke for slightly less than the price of a cappuccino, New Era Biochemical Tissue Salts are a whole £4.49 a bottle, so I'd be better off being a conventional junkie!

On the plus side, I do hear they are about to develop a Biochemical Tissue Salt No. 13 remedy for 'addiction problems'.


teeni said...

Wow. I had never heard of this stuff. I wonder what on earth it is used to treat and what could be in it that makes it taste irresistable to you now and also back when you were a little girl? I should go look this stuff up. Sounds like a real problem but at least you have taken the first step in admitting you have a problem. ;) LOL.

Rol said...

Tell us, oh apothecary, just what these wondrous salts do treat. Are they good for what ails me?

Mrs. G. said...

I had similar issues with Flinstone children's vitamins.

lucyfishwife said...

I had in my teens a longstanding addiction to Boots own brand orange flavoured glucose tablets. The texture was oddly cooling and grainy. Oooh if I was near a Boots now...

Steerforth said...

Yes, I remember the weird, cooling effect of glucose tablets - what caused it?

As for those New Era tablets, they were a complete waste of money, but they did melt on the tongue rather nicely.

During my A levels I tried a number of herbal remedies for exam nerves. None of them were a patch on alcohol or cannabis.

Reluctant Blogger said...

I've never heard of these. How scary for your parents!

I don't think I've ever had a fixation on any pills. When I was about 12 or 13 I got a real taste for advocaat one Christmas and went out and bought a bottle and stashed it in my cupboard and use to drink some before I went to bed every night. I only stopped when I ran out of money, or found I had none to spare to spend on it. It didn't drive me to a life of crime anyway. I still rather like advocaat these days and always have some at Christmas.

So what were these pills for?

Steve said...

Maybe unscupulous sweet manufacturers - the people who make Smarties and M & M's - ought to sling a few of these tablets into their sweet packets to boost sales?

The Sagittarian said...

Have never heard of those things either...but I did love devouring Haliborange tablets as a kid!

Brother Tobias said...

My first addictive weakness was the white lead paint that my ex-navy bunk bed was painted with. I gnawed it exaustively off the decorative metal nobbles at night and during post lunch 'rests'.
Lead paint, in case you haven't tried it, tastes irresistably sweet and cool. We had lead pipes as well, which probably explains a lot.

Old Fogey said...

I remember when young a powder that my mother administered to me at the first sign of illness - as a supplement to the cod liver oil and syrup of figs that we regularly had to suffer. It tasted of licorice and fizzed on the tongue. They banned it later as addictive. I loved it (which is probably why). Anyone know what it might have been?

Wisewebwoman said...

Never heard of these Laura. But I had a thing for the Andrews salts in a can, add water and mountains of fizz and you could burb indefinitely, my brothers and I had competitions for longest & loudest. It was supposed to fix your liver or something.

The Poet Laura-eate said...

Teeni and Rol - New Era Biochemical Tissue Salts are a range of homeopathic remedies labelled 1-12 found in British health food shops (and some chemists), each number covering a range of ills, though I never used to care what number I was knocking back! Remember trying the one for bad skin in my teens, but didn't seem to make much difference. But completely disobeying the instructions for quantity might have had something to do with their inefficacy!

Mrs G - I guess that must be a stateside brand as I haven't heard of it here, but you have my sympathies! Hope you were superhealthy as a result!

LucyFishWife, I was a borderline Dextrose energy tablet addict too -is that similar to the Boots own brand?

Steerforth, I had a very sheltered childhood in Northern Ireland. No access to such exoticisms as cannibis and they were very strict about who they sold alcohol to. Pritt Stick and Tippex were the height of 'highs' that one could aspire to, but that was the preserve of the scum of the classroom, so I never indulged.

RB, ah yes you mentioned your weakness for the old falling-down water! As mentioned above, the New Era tablets are for a range of maladies, though they all taste the same.

Steve, I fear the marketing men will quickly realise my predilection for New Era tablets is kind of restricted to me, so no profit there!

Sagittarian, I never did try the Haliborange, but I will steer clear if you think it's risky!

Brother Tobias - the heavy stuff - literally! I hope you suffered no long-term ill effects (she says having not yet revealed her other addiction to petrol fumes!)

Old Fogey - are you sure that's not sherbet? Mmmm, I remember sherbet, but I always had to take the liquorice stick out as I hated that bit.

Ah Wisewebwoman, perhaps you have solved the mystery and it was Andrews powders that Old Fogey's mother dosed him with!