Friday, 13 June 2008

Suicide and Saving

A Re-cycling Appeal to ‘Jumpers’

Suicide is gainless
Unimaginative, clichéd, brainless.
Now you may say it's in bad taste
To question why this bloody waste
Of humanity
Is at worst termed 'cowardly'
Or criticise the wretched whose idea of glory
Is to incur commuter curses for train delay.
But to anyone who wants to die I say
Offer yourself to Cancer Research today!
Turn feeling useless into being useful
Leave a legacy above the miserable
Ensure your life wasn't late-aborted in vain
If the Buddhists are right, you’ll only have to do it all again
And your DNA is a much closer match
Than that of the non-consenting lab rat.
So think of humanity and maybe we'll think of you
Commemorate you with a bit of a ‘do’
Attended by all the lives you’ve saved
Who’ll drink to your life beyond the grave

© LS King 2008

But suicide for artistic immortality/book sales is fine of course! ;-)


Rol said...

Ha. I'll have to show this to Louise. Last year all her trains were cancelled due to a Friday night jumper - "it's SO inconsiderate!"

lucyfishwife said...

They could also be used for cosmetic testing (for the potential suicide with a more frivolous nature). Like your new layout - very Wild West! Is this Miz Laura's poetry saloon?

Steve said...

Ha ha! Yes the new layout was a shock - thought I'd come to the wrong place at first. Nice and bold though - like it! The only trouble with utilizing would-be suicides in this way is that a few unscrupulous people would see an opportunity to get away, quite literally, with murder... honestly doc she wants to kill herself... yeah I know the gag is a bit weird but she has strange fetishes... no, she need her hands restraining, honestly... don't worry though I'll sign for her...!"

Wisewebwoman said...

Marvellous idea Laura.
I'll say goodbye and you'll say hello kind of thing.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear, I always have trouble with your site don't I? Perhaps I need to reload my browser again but I couldn't read the text without sticking my nose up to the screen. Obviously no-one else is having difficulties - just poor old me again.

I always think jumpers are very cruel - poor poor train drivers.

I do find suicide a little tricky to be facetious about (a colleague of mine did kill themselves once - not by jumping though and no, I assume it wasn't because he was sick of me! - and it is such a hard thing for the people left behind to live with, all that guilt and regret which affects everyone even those who only knew the person slightly as I did).

But yes, dedicating yourself to medical science would be much more sensible than hurling yourself under a train.

Dan said...

Interesting that you published this poem on that date...!

The Sagittarian said...

Dorothy Parker had a good take on this subject too.
I am dealing with a chap via work who has attempted suicide, which is tricky and challenging at the same time. I didn't realise my sense of humour was so dark!! Also, a guy I was at school with killed himself - crawled inside his sleeping bag and blew his brains out. Quite neat and tidy under the circumstances. I really can't contemplate being able to do something like that.

Louise Mills said...

Dorothy Parker had a good take on this subject too.

You mean this...


Dorothy Parker

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

The Poet Laura-eate said...

Rol - a two hour wait at Paddington as a result of one of these inconsiderate desperado's was the entire inspiration for this poem!

A fine idea LucyWishWife. Volunteering for cosmetic testing would constitute a 'Cry For Help'. Re the new blog overhaul, no it's still a poetry salon rather than a poetry saloon!

Thank you for the design praise Steve - had a few teething probs with it, but hopefully it works on all computers now. My first attempt at a revamp! I see your point that utlisiing suicides in this way might be open to exploitation though. However at least most people can speak up for themselves and have choices, unlike the dumb animals that are currently deployed.

WiseWebWoman - well frankly I think 200 years is a mite too long waiting for promises of a cancer cure, so this whole business needs some serious speeding up!

RB, I fear you are one of the few readers who could not access the new layout. Hopefully I've now fixed this! I have myself had a colleague who committed suicide and my sister had a close friend who was a 'jumper', so I did worry about whether this posting might be too facetious, but since it is about a certain type of (particularly inconsiderate) suicide and also tied in with a couple of pertinent issues of our day such as waste and the slow speed of cancer research, I thought it was worth the risk of offending.

Dan, Friday 13th was a sheer co-incidence from my point of view, but yes that is quite amusing.

Sagittarian and Louise Mills - thanks for the reminder of Dorothy Parkers' excellent poem. I honestly think most of us have felt pretty desperate and even suicidal at certain times of our lives, but the vast majority of us find a way to get through it. However I still can't make up my mind if it's brave or cowardly to take that final step to a Facebook friends' tribute wall!

Old Fogey said...

On my line it always seemed to be either Bethnal Green or White City where they threw themselves under the train. I can vouch for the feelings you express in your poem. Bravo. Couldn't they do it some other day, or later when there were only pensioners and tourists on the train.
Incidentally I've tried to sing your poem to the MASH theme - the first four lines fit OK.

The Poet Laura-eate said...

Fogey, I am honoured that you have tried to sing my poem!

Perhaps a 'Jumpers' Away Day might cheer them up! (supposing they didn't want to leave themselves to medical science prematurely).

Sha said...

Makes me think of this.

In all serious though, people forget that the majority of suicide victims are too ill thirty seconds before death to make reasoned decisions.

louisie mills said...

Late posting, I know, but it make me think of this

The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep

The Poet Laura-eate said...

Sha, good point.

Louise, thanks for this - I guess it could be regarded as a verse which contemplates suicide.