Vote for me and I promise
To spend 98% less time in real terms
Slagging the mismanaging freeloaders of tax payers' money,
(otherwise known as the previous, Right dis-Honourable Government), off
And getting on with the job
Of arguing with Newsnight presenters
Browbeating my dissenters
And conjuring oratory
Whispered down a small ear mike to me
In ever more impressive-sounding
Patterns of convolusive evasiveness
Replete with the spurious figures and stats
That suggest I am doing a great deal
When in a very real sense
If you cared to follow my ambidextrous verbosity
(For which no shovel is large enough)
Through its maze of Machiavellian machinations
You would see
I am merely a vainglorious exercise in how many ways
There are of saying nothing
‘Moving forward’ while standing still
As I practice my signature on the history annals.
Oh I have spin to make your head spin
So you won’t know your Left from your Right
How else do think I’m going to win?
How very passe of you!
Vote for me – yes honestly…
© LS King
*I ought to make it clear that this poem is not specifically about David Cameron MP, and any similarities between Mr Cameron and this poem are as co-incidental as he chooses them to be! More a question of his picture seeming to go with the poem best!