Not a piece for posterity I fear, (the red mist of a recent flightmare descended – and I may say those Heathrow protestors have nothing on the airport's OWN staff in terms of anti-flight action!) However I hope you will enjoy nonetheless since it's that season.
Welcome to Heathrow Airport
The passengers are striking, refusing to board their flights
They're all demanding refunds for breach of human rights
Forced to wait in mile-long queues with lives in plastic bags
Stripped of jewellery, jackets, shoes, phones, mags, water, keys and fags.
And is that a pacemaker bleeping Sir? Better take it out
Oh dear you've missed your plane, just as well you'll soon conk out
What do you mean you're from Margate, Madam?
There's no recognised ethnicity of that name
How long? Oh, just all your life and you can prove it I suppose?
Think you're clever do you, trying to pull a fast one in infidel western clothes?
We've seen your sort before, yes I had a GP once just like you
Claimed he was Caucasian CofE, and tried to kill me with those heart pills too
We know you indigenous Brits, you'll blow up anything
And ok yes, we can't be seen to be 'discriminating'
You might break into the cockpit and moisturise the pilot to death
We had an attack only last week, Gold Spot assault on the cabin crew breath
This is all for your own good, better safe than sorry
So I'm a frustrated born-too-late Nazi. Shoot me.
But if you don't like my torment, you know where you can get off
Just remember one 'f*ck off' and no take off!
I'm in charge and I rule by fear
One word from me and your holiday ends here.
Now don't move a muscle while I just take this internal call
Oh dear, I'd better let you through after all
We security staff are for the chop it seems, and the airport is closing down
This underutilised site's just been sold to developers, by order of Gordon Brown
© LS King 2007